Where's the bottom and are you happy with who's topping?

I'm not sure how valid this is, but I'd put a little money behind it.

I'm just thinking. Actually, the last few days I've been pretty depressive and I don't know why. so, anyway, maybe this is kind of depressive, too, but I was thinking of driving in Taiwan, for some reason.

When you first get to Taiwan, you can't believe the traffic. It's absolutely horrific. Before I got to Taiwan, I had made friends with lots of Taiwanese--who told me I drove like a Taiwanese taxi driver. So, when I first got there, I felt insulted.

Then I started driving there--a huge American car. And I was ACE at it!

It was very stressful but man, you gotta have real skills to drive with the natives--I'm talking actual driving skills. Here in Norte America, you can get by just keeping it between the lines and not being TOO much of an idiot. In Taiwan, you MUST learn to use your side mirrors, learn to parallel park--which I'd never done before--and you really need to be able to drive as well in reverse as you do forward--so you can park or back out again.

Let me tell you, I park and I'm amazing in reverse!! I really am!!

The depressive thing is that no one here thinks I know shit about crap. Not long after I got back, a friend (supposedly my best one--another depressing thing is coming to grips with the fact that I really haven't had a best friend in years, but that's another entry.) was stuck in a tight spot with a steep drop off behind her and needed to back up to turn around. Would she take my word and let me back her out? Of course not. She had to call her husband.

This is the same friend who learned to drive a stick and used to have to call her dad or husband (then boyfriend) to get her up a damn hill. Once I was with her and refused to let her call. I got out and behind the car to "push"--and be a victim if my faith in her was misplaced, and forced her to drive herself out of the ditch she'd rolled backward into.

And I've felt like this my entire life around here. I had to go move to another country to be taken seriously enough to be given a chance to do anything well. I never would have learned to drive here--I mean really drive.

I don't know. Maybe I give off some kind of "dumb" vibe. A girl who liked me liked me once said that I was actually very smart, but I just acted silly. I don't think I act silly, I just don't play games and don't, DON'T, like people putting on airs. I know a lot of stuff, but so does everyone. Different people know different stuff. This way no one has to know everything see? It all works out. So I don't people who feel too "special," and I don't do that. So, I get no respect?

I guess I'm writing this now cause I'm starting to feel this way again. Spoke to some real jerks the other day who managed to make me feel beneath them with "subtle" look and condescending tone. I detest them for doing it--they don't know me from Joe--but I detest myself for allowing them to get to me.