Man, that song is killing me.
Anyway, I knew what I wanted to say yesterday, but now it's all gone. I'm in the library rushing to write something.
Ohh! The Spaniard. When I get the words together, I'll let you know. I doubt I'll tell you what they are, though!
Ohh! The stress! My job is killing me. I sat in the assistant principal's office and cried like a baby after school today! I'm not a teacher. I'm a social worker with no power and authority. I don't even have a clue how to write a damn lesson plan like this.
I'm constantly out of the room to have a confrence with some kid's parents or counselor. The mom today has threatened to call the police twice because she has to come get her child. His behavior is so that he simply can't sit in a regular classroom all day. He was in another school at the beginning of the year, but got transferred to my classroom after that teacher complained of having him in her class.
And that's it. My class is the garbage heap, the dump where unwanted kids are discarded. This child's mother said she couldn't come back to school for another meeting, necessary because she refused to do what she needed to do at this one, because she is busy the rest of the week with a hair appointment.
This is not even the worst I've seen from parents already in this first 4 weeks of school.
I either have to quit caring about these kids, or quit this job. There is nothing I can do. I can't even do anything with the ones I could do something with because I can't stay in class enough because of all the confrences with momma, or daddy, or aunty, or parole officer, or counselor, or doctor, or case manager. God in Heaven!
But--last week one student told me he loves me. I believe him. I was shocked, 'cause I'm tough as nails in the classroom, but I believe him. And today, like five students just came in and started doing their work--what they were supposed to be doing, the way they were supposed to be doing it! It was like a miracle!
Or A Mercy, another wonderful new novel from Toni Morrison that I got to read last weekend. She never fails to take my breath away. Read it, if you dare!
